


Glue

by SirisDerp



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Thrawn Series - Timothy Zahn (2017)
Genre: Eli Vanto is fucking dying of laughter, Gen, How to horrify a Chiss, Thrawn is not amused
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-20 23:26:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16147772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SirisDerp/pseuds/SirisDerp
Summary: Thrawn experiences human military rations for the first time.





	Glue

Thrawn’s first day at Coruscant’s Imperial Academy was less than cordial. The other cadets gossiped about him, made rude gestures and otherwise, tried to push a reaction from him. They received none. Thrawn was wise enough to know nothing good would come from acknowledging such childish antics. He was also patient enough to forgive the humans for attempting to bully him.  

Childish.

Because that was what all the humans were to Thrawn: Children. It served no one to become worked up over the actions of a child. They didn’t understand him. No on does. But that isn’t what Thrawn carried with him from his first day. No, it was the incident at the mess hall. That was truly horrendous. Thrawn was horrified!

Standing in line for his food wasn’t a terribly exciting affair. The cadets held their metal trays and pushed it along the metal rack for the cooks to lean over and shovel in their slop into the provided dish. It was the first time Thrawn were exposed to human military rations. When he was first picked up from his plant of exile, Thrawn refused to eat more than the ration bars meant more for deployment out into the field. It wasn’t anything personal. Thrawn was wary of what he can and cannot imbibe for sustenance with the slight differences in Chiss to Human biology.

The brightly colored foods where varying forms of paste. Strange in their texture and smells. There was a yellow slop that was the main coaurse of the night accompanied by a small dinner roll. Nothing elaborate. Every meal wasn't meant to look appetizing so much as its function was to serve his daily nutritional needs. Thrawn took his seat across from Eli Vanto. Their table was towards the back of the mess hall and his chosen seat allowed for Thrawn to position his back to the wall with a clear view of the entire mess. Eli barely glanced up from his tray, lips pursed while staring intently into his own bowl of yellow slop.

"Is something bothering you, Eli Vanto?" Thrawn picked up the dinner roll first. He attempted to break off a piece but struggled. Thrawn paused to look away from Eli, brows furrowed as he actually put muscle behind his actions and still nothing. "What in the world...?" He breathed out.

"I forget, you never had this before, have you? Watch," Eli said, amusement in his tone. Thrawn slowly blinked as he did as Eli bade. Eli picked up his dinner roll to hold up for Thrawn to see. Thrawn raised a brow. Eli then dropped it onto the metal table. The dinner roll fell with a loud THUNK and flopped onto one side. It didn't even bounce!

Thrawn stared, notating the way Eli's brown eyes glittered in amusement. A curious reaction that differed from a Chiss that he filed away for later. Thrawn repeated the action with his dinner roll only for it to have the same result.

"Curious," Thrawn mused as he picked it up again. Instead of dropping it once more, he banged it against the tabletop. The table  **dented**. Thrawn jumped at the sudden sound of laughter bursting forth from Eli's lips.

"You should see your face right now," Eli managed to say when he caught his breath, cheeks lightly stained pink and facial glow elevated. Thrawn frowned.

"I fail to see your amusement." Thrawn sighed through slightly parted lips and mentally wrote off the dinner roll as inedible. He picked up his fork to stick into the yellow goo. When he lifted it up, the entire bowl — goo included — lifted from the table. He dropped it immediately and it fell back into his tray with a loud clatter accompanied by more laughter from Eli Vanto. The human at least made an attempt to stifle his laughter behind a hand but the young male was hunched over his tray to hide his reddened face. Thrawn was not amused.

"Eli Vanto," Thrawn hissed out. Eli's spine stiffened at the change in tone. Eli cleared his throat and straighten in his seat with a muttered sorry to rub the back of his neck. Thrawn maintained eye contact as he flipped the bowl to bang on the bottom and lift it up. The goo stuck steadfast to the dish, fork included. Thrawn banged the bottom of the dish in the air with it flipped upside down. Still, the goo stayed intact. Eli's smile was wide as he watched Thrawn go through the motions of testing the goo's adhesion strength. Nothing seemed to detach the yellow substance. Thrawn sighed, his dish settled back onto his tray with a loud clatter.

"I can't eat this— this  _glue_ ," Thrawn announced and immediately came to a stand. Thrawn emptied his tray and left the mess hall. Only when Thrawn was out of sight did Eli dump his drink into the dish filled with the yellow goo, toss in his dinner roll, and waited for it to soak. It's an old trick to make anything edible in the mess hall. You have to mix it all together and soften it up with carbonated drinks. It's why everyone carried back two drinks in their tray before they sat down.

"That's for stealing my last ration bar," Eli quietly said to himself with a smirk. He used the side of his fork to cut into the now pliable dinner roll and scoop up some of the softened goo to shovel into his mouth. It felt good to get one over Thrawn.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the [video included in this article](https://www.wearethemighty.com/articles/hilarious-russian-soldier-proves-that-their-chow-halls-suck-too).


End file.
